Talidon - Reassignment

[This story is set in the central country for the fiction stories I share in my blog... how the other countries border this one is an interesting question I haven't answered yet. It is written to be read aloud to players in my Dungeons & Dragons game, hence the main character being the "reader".]

"Soldiers, to your feet for you are in the presence of Her Royal Majesty the Queen, Radiance of Talidon, Eyes of the Dragon Talid, Keeper of the Claw, Exalted Seeker of the Lost Orb."

The Queen appears before you.

"Soldiers and war bands of Our Armed Forces, We have called you here in Our presence to announce a reorganization of Our military to a structure used before the Slaughtering, a branched military hierarchy with ranks and rewards. As with other reforms in Our Majestic Lands of Talidon, these changes will help bring us closer to the lost greatness we all desire.

"The ranks are based on merit as are the rewards. The ranks are only used within the military forces, though they carry honor among the common people. The rewards are not entirely exclusive to the armed forces, though some can only be achieved through military service. Among the usual rewards of ribbons, medals, cords, and chains, are appointments in Orders, royal charters, noble titles, land grants, and even royal entitlement. With the multitude of rewards and the honor they impart, We see this as the beginning of a new era in Majestic Lands of Talidon.

"This reorganization marks a distinct departure from the mercenary groups that have pillaged Our nation’s lost treasures for the benefit of a highest bidder. This heralds a clean break from the warlords with their war-bands and in-fighting over who controls Our lands and marches. From this point forward, Our nation will benefit from such expeditions, rather than suffer loss.

"As the first reward for your proven excellence in service, We have entrusted your new officers to reassign you into one of three branches of Our new military. Army, Navy, Police. To initiate the reassignments, We will personally appoint the Arch General of Our Armed Forces."

The Royal Herald calls out "Grand Prince Temor of House Volodin, approach and be recognized."
A man who you presume is the Grand Prince climbs the steps of the stand. When he reaches the red-draped planks of the stand, he gracefully bows to the Queen, walks to two arm’s lengths away from her left hand, and kneels on both knees.

The Queen turns slightly away from the Grand Prince and says "Master of the Armories, the Sword of State.

" A man, garbed quite similarly to the royal herald approaches the Queen holding a golden-sheathed, bejeweled sword by the scabbard. He bows the hilt to the Queen and she draws sword. The Queen turns her back to the man and faces the Grand Prince with the sword in her right hand. The Master of the Armories steps back and another man in less ornate trappings steps to take his place

"Grand Prince Temor Volodin, We challenge you to defend Talidon from all threats, foreign and domestic. Do you accept this challenge?"

"I swear to defend Talidon and accept this challenge."

The Queen nods and plunges the sword through his chest. The Grand Prince jerks backwards at the shock of what his body is enduring. He looks back up into the Queen’s face. She nods again and pulls the sword from the Grand Prince. He nearly falls forward, following the sword’s quick withdrawal. The Queen swings the sword backwards, its tip sending an arc of his blood’s droplets across the first few rows of those in audience.

As the Grand Prince steadies himself without touching his hands to the carpet, the Queen continues her arm’s movement until the sword comes into the grasp of the Master of the Armories’ attendant behind her. She releases the sword and the attendant wraps the blade in a white cloth, bows, and retreats behind his Master who steps forward with a large tray between his hands. Beside him a third similarly garbed man steps forward also bearing a tray.

"The Claw of Talid sees the truth in your heart. The Claw of Talid tastes the strength in your blood. The Claw of Talid knows your bond. Rise, Grand Prince Temor and meet your charges." The Queen turns to the Master of the Armories and removes a shining footman’s mace from the tray with both hands.

Surprisingly, the Grand Prince does rise, steadily and purposefully, almost slowly, first raising one knee to place his right foot on the carpet, then following it with his left.

"Grand Prince Temor, you are charged to command the Police and defend the throne and people of Talidon. Do you accept this charge?" The Queen extends the mace to the Grand Prince.

"I accept the charge." He replies in a strained voice, taking the mace with both hands and bowing.

"I hereby grant you the commission of Grand Marshall of the Police." He twists slightly to his right hanging the mace from his belt. As he does so, you think you see a red stain on the back of his jacket. He faces the Queen stiffly and snaps his arms to his sides.

While you were looking at the Grand Prince’s jacket, you heard the Queen say "Master of Arms". She must have also removed an ornate golden chain from his tray because she was holding it now. Two of the Master of Arms’ attendants moved in unison to positions behind the Grand Prince.

"With your charge, I appoint you First Link of the Most Noble Order of the Chain." The Queen reaches out with her hands, extending the chain toward the Grand Prince and over his head as he bows again slightly. The Master of Arms’ attendants each take the chain carefully from the Queen’s hand nearest them and button its links into the Grand Prince’s epaulets. The Queen turns again to the Master of the Armories and removes a golden-sheathed short sword from his tray.

"Grand Prince Temor, you are charged to command the Royal Navies and defend the waters and skies of Talidon. Do you accept this charge?" The Queen extends the short sword to the Grand Prince.

"I accept the charge." He replies again, taking the short sword with both hands and bowing.

"I hereby grant you the commission of Admiral of the Seas of the Navy." As before, he arms himself with the newly gifted weapon at his left hip. Your eyes catch another glimpse of blood, this time as a stain on the front of his jacket. Again, the Queen turns to the Master of Arms and removes something from his tray, this time a sash. Spreading the gold-trimmed sky blue sash with her hands, she speaks.

"With your charge, I appoint you Helm of the Most Honorable Order of the Sash." As before, the Grand Prince bowed so the Queen could bring the honor over his head, and again the attendants gently lifted it from her hands and brought it down to affix it to the Grand Prince’s uniform. The sash was buttoned in his right epaulet under the Chain, and brought down to buckle to his sword of office at his left hip.

The Queen turns again to the Master of the Armories and lifts a familiar long sword from the tray. It is the Sword of State, the Claw of Talid, the very weapon that moments ago was run through the Grand Princes’ torso.

"Grand Prince Temor, you are charged to command the Armies of the Crown and defend the lands and interests of Talidon. Do you accept this charge?" The Queen extends the ornate sword to the Grand Prince in both hands.

"I accept the charge." He replies, taking the Sword of State with both of his hands and bowing.

"I hereby grant you the commission of General of the Armies of Talidon." The Queen pronounces as the attendant to the left of the Grand Prince quickly helps him buckle the sword to his hip with the sash and Sword of the Navy. As he does so, you see the bloodstain has spread further across the left breast of his jacket and down his side. His face slightly pale, he faces the Queen stiffly and keeping his arms rigid and to his sides.

"With your charge, I appoint you to the Most Noble and Most Ancient Order of the Claw and bequeath unto you the office of Bearer of the Claw and all the duties it entails. Face your forces and be recognized." The Queen turns in unison with the Grand Prince to face you.

The Royal Herald announces loudly, "Presenting His Royal Highness, the Grand Prince Temor of House Volodin, Arch General of Her Majesty’s Armed Forces, General of the Armies of Talidon, Admiral of the Seas, Grand Marshall of the Police, Bearer of the Claw for the Most Noble and Most Ancient Order of the Claw, Helm of the Most Honorable Order of the Sash, First Link of the Most Noble Order of the Chain!"

A cheer rises up from the crowd, though many people look around and whisper to one another, seeming somewhat confused at the pomp of this ceremony.

The Queen adds "With these three branches of our military, three offices installed, three orders of honor appointed, and three awards bestowed, We wish to ignite within you the fires to forge magnificent deeds of your own and wield them to propel our nation to greater heights." The crowd applauds and cheers more loudly this time as she steps back from her position at the front of the platform.

The Grand Prince, more importantly to you it seems, the Arch-General, stands alone near the front of the platform. He seems steady, having regained the color in his face despite the size of the blood-soaked wetness on the breast of his jacket. "Soldiers," he says, his voice strong, "over the next few days each of you will be called before your commanding officers and reassigned to a new unit within one of the three new branches; Army, Navy, and Police. I will now appoint the branch commanders."

The Royal Herald calls out "Archduke Makaris, approach and be recognized. Duchess Anfis, approach and be recognized. Earl Khariton, approach and be recognized."

Each of those summoned to the platform climb the stairs and take up positions to the Arch-General’s left as he had just done with the Queen. The Master of the Armories moves beside the Arch-General and the Master of Arms beside the Queen, each with a tray. A similar ceremony to the Grand Prince’s commissioning ensues for the newly appointed commanding officers of each military branch.

The Royal Herald announces "Presenting His Highness General Makaris, Archduke of Mischa, the Most Noble and Most Ancient Order of the Claw! Presenting Her Highness Admiral Anfis, Duchess of Melorin, the Most Honorable Order of the Sash! Presenting Marshall Khariton, Earl of Tarentum, the Most Noble Order of the Chain." They all stand proudly, the Archduke with his gold long sword and Claw medallion, the Duchess with her golden naval short sword and gold-trimmed sky blue sash, and the Earl with his mace and gold chain.

The Grand Prince turns to the Queen, bows, turns back to you and shouts "Dismissed!"

As the assembled soldiers disperse, you hear everything from excited talk about the future of the armed forces to the seditious mutterings and oaths of possible separatists. It is going to be an interesting couple of days.

Within a day you all receive your first orders from your commanding officer: you are to move into your new quarters before high noon tomorrow and wait there for further orders. You are given directions to your new lodging and get your gear set to move.

Late afternoon arrives in your new quarters and you hear a knock. Answering your door, you see no one nearby who could have knocked. You close the door and turn around to find a man standing beside a trapdoor near the foot of your rack.

"This is your first assignment from your new commander - Follow me." He turns to descend the wooden ladder into the lamp-lit tunnel below your quarters.

The tunnel is carved from the earth and supported by bricks, rocks, plaster and occasional wooden beams. Though haphazard in construction, it appears sound. You follow your guide until you come to a junction of tunnels where you meet four others; two soldiers each with their own lamp-bearing escorts. A short while later you meet up with eight more people - half soldiers, half guides. One speaks up.

"Good, we’re all here. Let’s get moving. Our commander awaits." He peels off down another corridor. In a few minutes the corridor widens into a small chamber with a door in the back wall.

The guide who spoke in the junction speaks again "Through the door and have a seat. I will let our commander know you are here. He will be with you in a moment." He goes through the door and into another in the room. The sound of squeaking metal and creaking wood fills the space beyond the door and falls quiet as suddenly as it started.

Lurking about in tunnels. Secret meetings in underground rooms. Hopefully your new commander will reasonably answer all of your questions.

The room is made of the same construction as the corridors that brought you here, but more wood resembling wainscoting is used on the lower half of the walls, and more red brick and white plaster are used throughout, both giving you a forced sense you are in a tavern above ground. A large rectangular table dominates the room, surrounded by a random collection of chairs. A high-backed chair sits on the left middle of the table with its back to a door, obviously the one the guide went through. Warmth emanates from a small iron stove in the near left corner of the room. The sound of almost boiling water comes from a small kettle on the stovetop. A small cupboard sits in the near right corner, with a large and random collection of clay, wood, and ceramic dishes. Small cabinets, a sideboard, and a stack of chairs sit in the remaining far corners. The table is illuminated by a four oil lanterns, their flames turned down to a low flicker.

Some of you take a seat while others walk slowly around the room, all anticipating the arrival of your new commander. You do not wait long as the sound of squeaking and creaking beyond the door returns. The noise stops with a thud and the door rattles open. You see the guide holding the door open for someone stepping out of what looks like a gated horse stall. The person lifts his head and you think he is the Arch-General!

"Attention! Presenting Arch-General Volodin" the guide says, eyeing those who were seated.

The Arch-General looks at you all, pulls out the high-backed chair and sits down. "Be seated." He pauses as he scans everyone’s faces again. "Soren, dark tea with lemon and some hard cheese. Enough for all."

"Yes sir." The guide says. He steps through the door once more and returns with a wheel of cheese on a plank and two lemons.

The Arch-General reaches forward to the two lanterns nearest him and raises their flames. "You are probably wondering at the covert nature of our meeting. The short answer is this. You came to the attention of my cadre, and one of them noticed a particular...er...synergetic aptitude among you all. He brought it to my attention and presented a plan I must say is quite devious. We discussed our options and decided to make you into a special unit dedicated to serving the unique needs of the Queen, the branch commanders, and myself. The work will be hard. For now, you will live your lives in secret, and will not discuss the details of your missions with anyone without my permission."

Soren placed a small plate of cheese in front of the Arch-General. He then put a small stack of mismatched saucers and the plank of cheese on the table, with some wedges already cut from the wheel. "Your tea will be ready in a moment sir."

"If you will join me" the Arch-General’s manner softens slightly and he says "I have spent much of my life at war, so most of the pleasantries enjoyed by those of even a lesser station are lost on me. I do, however, enjoy a few niceties. The tea is from Tivanico, a gift from the Black Pontiff, and the cheese is from some small goats Soren...ahem...acquired from Gorika." He smiles, hoping you catch his humor "I think it quite humorous our two comestibles are sharing the same table being that their countries of origin are at war." His smile grows wide, then quickly fades away as if it was never there. "So, now you know a little about me. Let us continue."

Soren’s hand moves in beside the Arch-General, setting a saucer and cup beside him. Soren pours steaming tea into the cup, floating a thin slice of lemon to the surface.

"Thank you Soren. Make sure to give some to the lads." Looking back to you all, his face darkening, the Arch-General continues grimly "Do you accept this charge? Yes? Good. Well then, now that you have been strong-armed into service, let us set some more rules and expectations.”

“You are now members a Police company I have, ah, borrowed from Earl Khariton. Hydra Battalion, E Company, Second Platoon, Second Squad. The battalion has numerous tasks associated with rooting out subversives, putting down rebellions, and the like—a splendid cover for the rest of our activities. Among the Police forces, only he knows about this, ah, shall we say, this extracurricular arrangement, so your role in this, and by extension everyone else’s, is safe as long as you follow protocol.”

“Your orders will normally be delivered to your quarters by courier. On rare occasions, we will contact you as we did tonight, by messenger via the tunnels. There are only certain people with access to these tunnels, so you will not be contacted in this manner unless it is authorized and necessary.”

“When on assignment, you must leave and enter your quarters via the tunnels you used this evening. When leaving the Police compound, you will move by night, exiting the tunnel system via a special building dedicated to our purposes. When leaving, you will be masked.” His mouth twists into a dark smile for a moment.

“You will be issued some standard equipment required to complete your tasks. Among these items is a magical mask you will wear during all missions. This mask will conceal your identity and protect you from any later retaliation by witnesses. You will be issued uniforms to be used while on all missions. They are to be stored down here. Another set will be issued for daily use. You will not always have special equipment you may need, and in such cases you will contact Soren’s team via this meeting room.”

Talidon - Introduction

[This "dust jacket" introduction came to me one afternoon way back when... then became so much more. This is the beginning of the fiction stories I will continue to post in my blog.]

In an age long since past, our peoples thrived in these lands at what many say was our civilization’s height. The great dwarf-built cities, with their spires reaching to the gods, protected all they oversaw.

That was before the dragons came and plunged our world into centuries of darkness. The Slaughtering saw the proud elves hunted to near extinction, the brave dwarves decimated in battle and driven back to their ancestral mountain halls. The humans who stood beside those warriors died on the fields of battle... those that ran were enslaved or worse. The orcs and goblinoids played to the dragons’ egos and found a place in their hordes. Some of our peoples turned against us and entered into the dragons’ service as well, though most were eventually killed as their greed overtook their dark loyalty.

It is only in recent memory that our peoples have regained footholds in our ancient homes, allowing the seeds of our once great civilization to sprout in the hopes that we will see it grow to the lofty heights once again. Much is lost that we once were, and much remains hidden to us, but with each day we recover the precious knowledge and artifacts of our forebears.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

• "In an age long since past ... was our civilization's height." - roughly 750 years ago (30 generations), though I'm seriously thinking of dropping this to about 200 years.
• "the dragons came and plunged our world into centuries of darkness" - again, roughly 750 years ago. It is said that the Slaughtering swept across the land from one coast to another like a wave of blood and destruction. Again, I'm seriously thinking of dropping this to about 200 years.
• "in recent memory... our peoples have regained... our ancient homes" - roughly 15-25 years depending on the area.
• "Dragons haven't been seen in a while" - about 5 years since anyone has (reportedly) seen a dragon.

Rant: Education Sacrificed

This post was originally a small comment on Marc's "Tenure?" posting on Another Look Around, but as I continued my comment, I found myself wanting to say more and more on the subject. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was essentially writing a blog entry on someone else's blog. Bad form. So, I mentioned I was going to post this on my own site. Not good form, but not as bad as the full post itself. I'm no master of debate, nor am I all that interested in politics, but I felt I should still say something. Anyway, here's the rant it became...

The California budget is jacked up. The economy is jacked up everywhere. (Captain Obvious here with news you already know.) What stinks is we have politicians who don't appear to care about solving the situation. Sure, they talk about solving things, but where is the balanced budget in California? They are still getting paychecks while people are losing their jobs. People and jobs, by the way, that are crucial to our future. One of those jobs is that of educator, and they will be among the first to pay the price of poor government in this doom's day plan. Our children will be the next ones to pay the price as kids are jammed into classrooms of 30+ students and suffer the side-effects of overcrowded classrooms. Next are all the "trickle-down" losses and troubles stemming from the lost jobs and poor learning conditions (trouble at home, for one). Ultimately, these children will be the same ones who will work in our companies and government, and care for us in our old age. Would you really want that to play out that way?

To me, it seems like we're all on a boat leaking and listing somewhere in the south Pacific. Some people are bailing as fast as they can, but the water is rising quickly. Others are trying to fix the leaks, but they are not boatwrights, so they cause about as much damage as they repair. Finally, there is a group who, in an effort to improve their cold and wet condition, are prying up planks and throwing them into a fire they built on the bow! Unfortunately, if we try to follow rats jumping off the ship, we'll drown just like them. So we're stuck here, hoping someone can do something to fix our situation before we all go under. (Look at me... I'm the one in the back stating the obvious and annoying everyone in earshot... yeah, the first one to get eaten by the shark, causing everyone in the theater to cheer.)

We already have one of the worst ranked education systems in the nation, and now we're about to cut the funding further? This is in addition to the proposed cap of lottery money income at the current rate of $1.2 billion (from some sources, that is around 3% of the annual education spending in California). This is happening during a time where things are costing more and becoming harder to come by.

The education system seems to be broken. What other profession do you have to go through college, get a degree, take additional classes, take certification tests, serve a two year probationary internship, endure repetitive annual state mandated training, suffer through lack of funding, and spend your own money to get supplies? Then, as if that wasn't enough, have your "bosses" tell you your pay will be linked to your performance, but you can't deviate from a particular curriculum, even to bouy the slow learners? It stinks like day old roadkill skunk. I didn't even get into poor curriculums, monopolistic text book contracts, poorly designed government policies, and the insanity of penalizing schools and teachers for not having kids perform in the higher percentiles in the "bell curve" ranked standardized testing (perhaps someone needs to explain a "bell curve" to government officials again).

[Whoa, look over there. Something is coming out of left field.]

Meanwhile, the 2008 NFL team player salaries totalled $3,624,115,487 for the 2008-2009 season. Yep. 3.6 billion dollars. With a 'B'. I can watch a bunch of people play football for free in a park. People who are playing for free and having fun. That large figure was for the players in one sport. Imagine how much money the entire professional sports industry generates. Season tickets, official jerseys, logo merchandise, product endorsements, and the list goes on. Staggering, huh? I think professional athletes' (not just football or even just sports I suppose) salaries should be capped (keep it high at $200,000, why not) and the "extra" money diverted into schools. It won't solve our problem, but it could put a minor dent in it. Wow, that sounds SO socialist... spreading the money around like that... but we have people being paid enormous amounts of money and they really don't contribute much to society other than entertainment. We worship them for it and ignore what really should matter. Instead, let's funnel that "excess" money into something important to our future (other than a memory of a good game and a collection of statistics), rather than entertainment, and we might be able to dig ourselves out of this hole we're in.

Children want to become professional athletes--not that there's anything wrong with striving for a goal, even an impractical and nigh unachievable one. I think they strive to be athletes because "we" like athletes, we put them on TV, we pay them lot's of money, and we pay them to do things most people do for free; play ball games. Maybe--and here's a really against-the-grain thought--maybe we should pay educators more. Like, lots more. Make that the job students strive for to get one of the few slots. We'd end up with better educators, and each generation would be smarter than the one before. Nice by-product.

Imagine what it would be like if we valued the valuable people in our society, instead of the athletes, actors, and rock stars.

There's so much more to say on this subject... but as usual, I'm quite tired and I have to work tom... er... today. Also, I could and probably should list all the resources I read while writing this post, but they are numerous, including USA Today, LA Times, CNN, the State of California, and on and on. If this issue bugs you, you'll have no trouble finding material on the subject.

Travel: San Pasqual Battlefield

Friday evening, Ethan asked Andie and I if we could to go to a museum and on a hike. Being five years old, he is sometimes cued into the day of the week, and in this case, he knew the weekend was rapidly approaching. Since he had had a "good" day, we felt we could indulge his request. Andie didn't really know where we could go, but I had recently remembered about an interesting piece of history a short distance from our house: the San Pasqual Battlefield. Andie visited their web site and learned that they have visitor center/museum and a nature trail... both of Ethan's requests fulfilled by one nearby trip.

Sunday arrived and we gathered up the few necessities for a short outing, jumped into the car, and got on the road. About ten minutes later, we found ourselves parking at the site. Walking up the path toward the monument we saw a small crowd gathered in the amphitheatre. What luck! There was a group of presenters telling the tale of the battle of San Pasqual and demonstrating period (and reproduction) equipment. Naturally, we took a seat and listened to the presentation. The speaker first told the story of the known historical events, situations, and decisions leading up to the battle, then discussed the battle itself and the subsequent movement of both American and Mexican troops toward what is now Old Town San Diego. (I'll let you read and/or visit to get the story yourself.)

During the presentation he referred to the surrounding geography and monuments on the site (noting the typical omission of the Native American guide on the large bronze monument behind them), which happens to also include a small field with a few trees, boulders, and a small number of brass/bronze plaques about half a mile down the road. Around the visitor center, I was a bit surprised to find myself looking at the terrain and thinking "that's a good spot to camp without being easily spotted by the enemy", "there's a good spot to put scouts" and "the U.S. cavalry probably took the approach from the ridgeline to the south because they were hidden until they were close to the Mexican 'Californios'." I suppose you can take the man out of West Point, but you can't take West Point out of the man.

The presentation shifted to a walk-through of the equipment used by a cavalryman during the Mexican-American War. Starting with the food (::sheesh:: one should always use that term loosely when referring to military rations from any point in time... I've eaten my share from a few different eras!), he and an assistant (lower ranking, from the chevrons) showed the typical amounts carried by each soldier. The typical kinds of ammunition for a "mountain howitzer" were explained (and happen to be in the photo to the right), and all sounded pretty nasty. He and his assistant then showed the weapons the U.S. used, including the lance, breach-loading shotgun, flintlock pistol, cavalry saber, and cannon.

Everything concluded with a bang... quite literally. Ethan a.k.a. "Swag-Mag"--as he seems to have a high concentration of some bizarre magnetic substance that attracts swag--was picked out of the crowd to join the cannoneers when they fired the howitzer. His job? To yell "Fire!" once every station was finished with their loading duties. It was especially funny because he got distracted by everything going on and forgot to say fire until the team leader prompted him... three times. The ensuing concussion left a smile plastered to his face for a good while afterwards. Someone in the crowd asked the presenters to gather around the cannon, so I snuck a photo in.

Afterwards, we jumped onto the nature trail (you can see it winding up from the upper right across the hillside toward the other portion of the monument on the lower left). The web site says it is only about a mile, but after walking the trail there and back, I would have to say they must have measured wrong... or only one way. Sure, we were walking with Mini-Me, but he kept up a decent pace, even through the areas where we wished he would have slowed down to avoid a 40-foot slide into pricklypear cactus (he didn't fall, we were just worried he would).

When I am on such adventures, I often find myself thinking of how "this or that" would help set the scene in a story I'd like to write or some RPG adventure I'm working on. In this case, reference photos were needed:

...other times, I think it would be nice to have a photo of the "thing".

Oh, and what would this blog post be without a relevant link to Wikipedia? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_San_Pasqual

Windows 7?

Some of you may not have heard, but Microsoft has released the Windows 7 Beta for techies (like me and many of you) to preview and help build buy-in and interest. It's pretty obvious to most of us that the seemingly hurried release schedule is in direct response to the bad press and poor response that Windows Vista has been buried under. Personally, I don't understand why so many people are willing to jump on the Vista-bashing bandwagon. Perhaps it is the pack mentality or "all the cool kids are doing it" or they simply fear change. Whatever. I've been using Windows Vista Ultimate since I got my first beta back in late September of 2006 and I don't have many problems with it... fewer than with XP... but definitely different. That said, I'm an IT guy who has focused on using Microsoft server and desktop products over the years, so I'm a different kind of user, and I can be more forgiving than others.

What I'm really here to bring up is the name "Windows 7". Really? That doesn't sound right. Let's count the versions:

[DISCLAIMER: in the HTML, this is an ordered list with numbers, so I don't have any idea where the freakin' flower bullet points are coming from]

1. Windows 1.0 - I remember the box, but I think I used GEM at the time
2. Windows 2.0 - I think I immediately upgraded to 2.03 with overlapping windows, rather than sticking with 2.0's tiled window interface. I also used Word for the first time with this version
3. Windows 3.0 - it is arguable that Windows 3.1, and 3.11 for Workgroups were different enough to be "versions"
4. Microsoft Bob - I had blocked this from my memory, but Trent pointed it out and I must include it
5. Windows 95 - this was like day and night when compared to 3.1
6. Windows 98 - I think Windows 98SE (as in Second Edition) is worthy of being called a separate "version"
7. Windows Me - ::hork:: let's not talk about the "Millenium Edition"
8. Windows XP - for Home, Pro, or Media Center Edition, this was a nice improvement
9. Windows Vista - Home Basic, Home Premium, and Ultimate
10. Windows 7 - or should that be "Windows 10"... oops, make that "Windows X"?

[Pre-update]
When I counted this with the guys in my IT crew, we ended up with ten, but that included Windows 2000 in the list, which is really a different "flavor" of Windows (covered below). That would make it "Windows 10"... or "Windows X"... "Windows OS X". That makes me uncomfortable.

[Post-update]
With the Microsoft Bob included, the list is now up to ten. "Windows X" it should have been! However, with my mentioning it here, there are lawyers at Apple twitching, Mac fanboys getting the "Windows just copies Mac" flame-mails ready, and perhaps even Microsoft lawyers hovering near "cease and desist" documents. All in good fun! :)

Maybe they were counting "IT professional" version of Windows when they came up with the name? Let's count:

1. Windows NT 3.1
2. Windows NT 3.5
3. Windows NT 3.51
4. Windows NT 4
5. Windows 2000 Professional
6. Windows XP Professional - the much beloved XP Pro so many people have latched onto
7. Windows Vista - Business or Enterprise editions (by the way, Vista is "Longhorn" for those who wonder where that version went)
8. Windows 7 - or should that be "Windows 8"

If I condense the IT pro list down to leading version numbers, we'd only have six, not seven.

I could break out all the different editions, service packs, and releases into their own items, but the lists would be even longer. We could throw in DOS versions, but they are not Windows even if they are operating systems for the PC.

Wait, I think I see what they did:

1. Windows 1.0
2. Windows 2.0
3. Windows 3.0
4. Windows 9x (95, 98, Me)
5. Windows XP
6. Windows Vista
7. Windows 7

That's cheating the list's count though. It's probably a marketing spin on the underpinning technologies of Windows. Thanks to Wikipedia for having a good list for me to check my memory against.

Woodworking Progress

For those of you who read my last post about New Year's Resolutions/New Beer Revolutions progress, I mentioned a couple things that don't make much sense unless can see what I am working on. So... to facilitate that, I've taken some photos that I will post this evening. First, I want to have a 2005 Double Bastard downstairs in the Stone Brewing World Bistro & Gardens. Then, once I get home and everything settles in for the night, I'll upload the photos (and probably the "tasting notes" post about the beers we drank last Friday night).

Okay, now that the evening has settled down, here's the rundown...

First up, the makeshift bar. What you see in the picture to the right is the physical mass of the bar I would like to build. The space it takes up is just about what I desire for the dimensions of our studio. The bar surface--as shown in the photo--is salvaged mahogany from a giant pallet, and will be resawn (probably by hand) to make two 16" x 1.5" boards 65" long for the counter top. The smaller pieces sawn off the larger pieces will be around 32" long. The upper portion of the bar--the arm rest if you will--is made up of er... smaller boards: two 9 x 16" pieces at 64" long also with 32" pieces attached (one of which I have already sawn off).

I also salvaged some other wood to use on this project: oak, also from pallets up for grabs up at work. I think it is white oak, but it also could be (and probably is) some cheaper variety from South America or Asia. Regardless of that (or "irregardless" if you want to watch a certain big Irish guy twitch), it looks pretty good. It's the wood to the right of the photo. The mahogany (which could also be a cheaper substitute from overseas) is the wood to the left of the photo. Again, it looks pretty good. Both woods are heavy... hea-vy... dense... and difficult to cut, especially when compared to pine and douglas fir, which is the usual wood we encounter regularly.

Anyway, back to the bar concept... you'll also notice a few other "salvaged" items that, while helping me determine the actual shape and function of the bar, will not be a part of the final piece. For instance, the chair legs balanced on the right side of the frame are there to represent one of the four turned posts which will ultimately support the canopy over the bar (you know, where stemware is hung from).

Below the bar to are two whiskey barrels. They will not be used for the bar directly, but they will be used around the bar area. Look on the wall above the beer bottles. That circle (and one that should be below it, but fell off) represents a barrel end that will "stick through" the wall from the refrigerator behind the wall to the bar area. I think that at least one tap per barrel end will pour from the kegs in the 'frig. I also think I will be able to use the remaining barrel staves for some bar stools. We'll have to waiti and see. Representing the front of the bar are two desk ends. Sure, they don't look that bad, but on closer examination, their facade starts to fall apart. They are a "cherry" veneer on pressed wood... not exactly what I'm looking for in the finished piece. Instead, they nicely represent the two large mohogany panels that will be front (and side?) of the bar.

The drawback? This is not the project I need to complete for my NYR/NBR. It'll help me lear stuff, but it doesn't put a bookcase in the library, nor does it empty the... what... fifteen? twenty?... numerous paper boxes of books that are filling one of the corners of the studio.

What clears things up and helps me learn about what I'm getting into are the breakfast nook benches that I've started working on again. One of them was started previously, and the other was brought to a point where I can figure out the corner seat. The carcass of the bench seats is essentially all you see here, as quite a bit more work is coming this weeknd. I'll bulk up the feet up a bit and complete the boxes just under the hinged seats. Now this project is helping me learn about the construction of the bookcases for the library. So far so good.

Just for the sake of "sharing" what woodworking projects I'm working on, here is the gargoyle I'm working on:

I think I'll learn a bit about hand carving various aspects of my future projects. Plus it will look cool somewhere in or outside the studio.

Oh, and here's the drawing it is based on.

Tasting Notes: Rarity and Obscurity

Since Marc asked for it, I'll offer up some tasting notes from New Year's Eve (I think), when my boss decided to "thin out his refrigerator" and share the spoils of his trip to Europe with several people at the brewery.

First on the list was a pair of "rustic" Italian beers: "La Mummia" and "Dolii Raptor" both brewed by Birrificio Montegioco. I'd categorize these beers as "farmhouse ales", since they had that flavor typified by some Belgian traditional fermentation techniques: Brettanomyces was prominent, but well balanced. The "Dolii Raptor" (Barrel Thief) was my favorite of the two, as it had some wonderful oak flavors.

Those two were quickly followed by... er... a beer that everyone around the table said I had to try (while snickering, that is). I tried it, and wondered why it was at the table. I was "underwhelmed". It didn't have a label, so I can't tell you who made it or what it was called. Hec, it didn't even make it downstairs to the lab for other people to taste. I think it was poured out when people left the conference room.

Anyway, off to the next beer on the list... Struiselensis by Struise. It was a nice follow-up to the Italian rustics, with tart fruit-like flavors. It was good, but among its neighbors at the table (it's the one to the right of our next entry), was not outstanding. I still like the "Barrel Thief" better.

What was outstanding was the Kriek Cuvée René by Brouwerij Lindemans. Now, for those of you who know your sweet "lambics", this isn't one of those. It also isn't extremely sour, as my caveat might have led you to believe. Instead, this beer was nicely balanced... slightly sour, with some cherries in the nose and more in the flavor, but the nicest thing (to me, of course) was that this beer was not sweet. Now, I have a "sweet-tooth" of a sort, but that beer normally doesn't fit into what I would consider a "regular" beer. Again, for those of you who know your sweet beers, especially Lindemans, you'll note the red label in the photo, instead of the usual school bus yellow found on most of their bottles.

There was another beer on the table at this point... maybe two, but they were overshadowed by the two that followed them... for the beer geeks in the crowd, you'll totally understand why I can't remember much about them. The monks at Brouwerij Westvleteren (Sint-Sixtusabdij van Westvleteren) produce some of the most sought after beers on the planet. And Steve brought two of them back to Stone. The first of these was Trappist Westvleteren 8 and is probably the second or third best beer I've ever tasted. Ever. That was followed up by Trappist Westvleteren 12. The "best beer I've ever tasted" list met its number one. Yeah. This was quite an afternoon. I suppose some of the flavor memory I speak of was due to the hype, but the flavors were really that good. So, in addition to being quite rare, these beers were awesome. I'll let the beer write-ups in the links to explain this... I can't do them justice.

The last two beers on the table were good, but I didn't even taste that much of them as I didn't want to ruin the Trappist Westvleteren 12 flavors still lingering in my mouth. Nøgne Ø brewed up a pretty damn good holiday ale in "God Jul", from what I remembe, but the crew over at a brewery I won't call out need to rethink the flavor in their Creme Brule beer. Usually that flavor needs to stay away from beer... creme brule needs to stay away from beer.

Anyway, I'm sleepy and any more of this will just make you want to get some beers of your own.

Resolutions: A Start

Wow, what a week. If it wasn't work they'd call it something else, right? It turned out to be such an interesting week that, by Wednesday morning, I wanted to take Friday off (thanks, Steve for giving it your stamp of approval!). Naturally, that meant that I had to bust my butt to complete some outstanding issues to make the day off practical as well as possible. I'll probably have a few interesting ones waiting for me upon my return.

...fast forward to Friday...

Friday morning I had breakfast at A Delight of France, which was a nice change of pace from the routine shower-shave-get the E-Man to preschool-show up at work. Nice. Decent coffee, good eggs and garlic potatoes, and an awesome almond croissant. (Item: Lose girth. Status: Fail.)

I called Shopsmith to purchase some safety items for my Mark V. That went mostly okay. In retrospect, I got something that may not fit my 1960 model. Fun. I'll have to fix that tomorrow. (Item: Bookcase. Status: Creeping forward.)

A short while later, I visited a particular antique store on Grand Avenue in search of a few items I saw in mid-December: a garden astrolabe amd a nice set of plates (hey, they looked awesome for the "look" I'm going for in the studio over the garage.* Success? Zero. It seems that the rule of "see it and buy it" applies to antique stores. (Item: None. Status: Fail.)

Now that I was on the road, I took a trip to Escondido Metal Supply to see if they had some items I need for my studio bar project. Some? Yes, but it is tainted by the hassle of dealing with an understaffed team of annoyed people. Eh. So be it. I got an idea of what some things will cost through them (more on that project later), but at what additional cost? (Item: Bookcase practice. Status: time wasted.)

Annoyed, I turned "Kompressor"** back toward home, stopping through Showcase Moulding here in town. Good crew. Awesome selection of moulding and wood. Their prices were a bit higher for what I was quoting out, but the cherry plywood was very clear. It’s worth another $20 a sheet to get knot-free cherry rather than having to compromise and use maple. I think they will be my supplier for the projects in the queue. (Item: Bookcase. Status: Information gathering.)

Arriving at home, I performed the remaining Mark V calibrations and preventative maintenance I could, all in an effort to get the system running as good as possible. I then re-sawed the two smallest salvaged mahogany boards that will be part of the bar… the arm-rest counter to be precise. It is amazing how long that took. The density of the wood only allowed shallow cuts, relative to the 4 x 10 board. Two passes at each depth, and four depth settings later, I still wasn’t through the board, but I was at the maximum height of the saw blade. The remaining 2+ inches in the center of the board had to be hand-cut. I ended up using one of the old handsaws hanging on the wall of the garage. I don’t really know how old the saw is, but it has held its edge far better than the other saws less than half its age hanging alongside it. Once I got the board split, I got a chance to look at it. The wood looks pretty good. So good in fact, that I am questioning the decision to utilize the natural wearing of the wood and make it look like it has been worn by countless arms, hands, and pints. For now, I’ll stick with the plan and incorporate the “aged” look. (Item: Bookcase. Status: Practice makes perfect.)

Last year, I started a breakfast nook bench project. It is made out of birch plywood with a design based off of Andie’s library desk. I didn’t finish. Obvious, huh? Thought so. I brought that unfinished project down to the garage, considered what it would take to finish it up, and realized the benefits to be gained from finishing it up. One less unfinished project laying around. One more thing to practice on before starting in on a new project that is much more unforgiving. Besides, we need a few more seats at the breakfast table. “I’ll work on that this weekend” I told myself. (Item: Bookcase. Status: Planning makes perfect.)

Andie and Ethan came home shortly thereafter, so I was off to do some family things until after dinner. That night, Trent, Kevin, and Gary came over for beer-thirty. I have acquired several beers over time that have been relegated to the “share only” stash. The Lost Abbey beers we had that night will be the subject of another “Tasting Notes” entry. We had a good time and the “dry fit” of the bar worked out well. (Item: Lose girth. Status: Fail.)

Saturday and Sunday came around and spent most of it measuring up the breakfast nook area and working on the benches. (Item: Bookcase. Status: Practice, practice, practice.)

* Some might call the "studio" my "man cave", as much as I find that particular phrase... um... annoying? loathsome? Whatever. I don't think that I reside in a cave. It is currently filled with bookcases, boxes, a roll top desk badly in need of refinishing, and a bunch of stuff destined for Craig’s List, ebay, or one of the local thrift stores.

** Named early on by "the guys", my Mercedes Benz C230 Kompressor gained the name of another Kompressor out there in the world... of music in this case.

Tasting Notes - 1980 Courage Imperial Russian Stout

Back on December 12th, I had the honor of tasting a 1980 vintage Courage Brewing Imperial Russian Stout beer. This is now the oldest beer I have tasted, coming in at 28 years old, knocking the 1985 Thomas Hardy's Ale I tasted early last year to #2!* Anyway, back to the beer at hand (ooo... I wish there was more "at hand"). It didn't have the usual "IRS" flavor profile I was expecting and was instead slightly sour with a tinge of soy sauce flavor. The grain roastiness was still there, as was the chocolately flavor. The mouth-feel was somewhat like a thin syrup, but that was most likely due to the nearly absent carbonation. If you're wondering what it tasted like, I'd say the closest beers would be Harvey's Imperial Extra Double Stout or Jolly Pumpkin's Madrugada Obscura. It was quite good considering its age. Too bad I probably won't get any more of this ever again. Check it out at RateBeer.com and Beer Advocate.

Anyway, my late lunch break is over. Back to work...

* I'll cover the oldest beers I've ever had in another post.

New Beer's Revolution!

I am finally getting around to my second post, and it looks like I will be blogging more often now. Yep. I was off to a slow start (imagine that), but things will get rolling faster now that I made this part of my "New Beer's Revolution" at work.

Since I work at a brewery, and that brewey happens to be Stone Brewing Co., things aren't always traditional and are seldom boring. So why should the traditioal--and often boring--New Year's resolution be any different?

So let me guess, you’re planning on losing weight and exercising more in 2009, and that’s your New Year’s Resolution for the fifth time in six years? It’s ok to admit that—really it is. Or perhaps you’d like to improve intellectually, you know, learn a new skill or teach someone something? Maybe you want to make a difference in your community? All noble aspirations, but will you actually do any of them? Maybe, maybe not. But what if you had a support system—a team? And what if there was an incentive to accomplish your goals, like a reward?

That, and the "support group" of co-workers going through this with me... and the chance to win $500 or even $2,500 if the judges deem my efforts to be worthy of rewarding.

Let me guess. About this time you're wondering what I said I was going to do, right? Here's the list:

1. Physical Goals: Decrease my waist size (36+ to 34-36) and "lifestyle belly" while increasing muscle mass and cardivascular health. Achieve this by exercizing (somewhat) regularly and making subtle dietary changes.
2. Intellectual Goals: Write 50,000+ total words in the following areas:
• blog (every other day)
• novel projects (Talidon, Dune)
• short stories
3. Community Goals: Ride bike to work more (at least one time a week). Research "green" projects and solutions for my house and develop implementation plan (rain barrels, solar water heating, etc.)

I've finally registered for this thing on Friday, but as I said, I'm off to a slow start. Thankfully I have until the end of April to complete this journey, assemble the packet, and present it to the judges.

What have I done so far? ::hmm:: Not much. I'm not feeling well, and I'm not sure why I am so tired lately. I've been fighting some sinus issue or another for what seems like forever. Neither of those help me get moving. In response to that lethargy yesterday, I spent some time reading through the issue of Family Handyman magazine that has the plans for the bookcase I intend on building. I also spent some time tuning my vintage 1960 Shopsmith, getting it prepared for a workout. I took a quick trip to Harbor Freight to look for a pocket hole jig and some "extra arms" in the from of an adjustable roller assembly. I got some quotes for cherry and maple, but I haven't quite locked in the decision to go with the maple... it's slightly cheaper and doesn't have the knots like the cherry wood does (or so I am told). Since Andie and Ethan are home tomorrow, I won't have to take Ethan to preschool and I'll be able to ride my mountain bike to work instead of driving the "grueling" three and a half miles to work.

That's it for tonight. I'm falling asleep in front of the keyboard. I'll post again tomorrow... if I remember and am not too tired.