I Don't Like Mondays

I don't like Mondays.

Seriously. I dislike them.

Honestly speaking, though, I'm not going to go on a shooting spree like Brenda Ann Spencer merely because "I don't like Mondays". I am also not going to write a song about it, partly because Bob Geldof beat me to it years ago, but most especially because I don't have a shred of musical talent. Instead, I'll write a blog post about it.

For me, Mondays mark the end of a good thing and the beginning of a thing less desirable. Obviously, to a great number of you, going back to work fits this definition, but I'm not necessarily referring to the obvious. I am referring to the transition from the wonderfully cathartic outlets of the weekend back to the manic hustle that is my work week. That transition is why Monday is drawing my contempt. Occasionally the transition doesn't hit me until I've been at work for an hour or so, but usually the reality hits sometime within a few minutes of waking up. You know, it's the "damn, I have to wake up, get my son and I moving, and haul our butts where they need to be" realization. (My wife has long since left the house.)

To me this transition is especially rude, because its counterpart, the shift to a weekend's unwinding, is slow. The transition to the weekend mindset is like sliding into a steaming bath or hot tub. Sure, it might hurt a little at first, but once you've eased yourself in there... whoa... you know it feels good. In contrast, the Monday transition marking the end of the weekend is probably much like looking over at your empty beer glass surprised to see one more swallow of beer, only to find out the hard way that some jerk has poured in a finger's depth of malt vinegar into it. Well, since I was the jerk in that scenario, perhaps I need to come up with another analogy (though in hindsight, it was pretty rude, but it was also pretty funny). I think you get the point. Mondays are especially annoying when they show up disguised as a Tuesday or some other day of the week.

Sure, getting into the "day off mindset" is sometimes as fast as walking out the lobby doors at work on a Friday night, but normally it happens sometime during the late afternoon Saturday. That leaves a little over a day to enjoy my "weekend". If I get a call from work, the time to relax gets more compressed, in direct opposition to the concept of relaxing.

Perhaps I simply need to unbolt the responsibility of work and go on a vacation for a week. Vacations have a way of undoing a few Mondays.

* Thanks goes to Steven E. Schend for suggesting today's subject. I told him my intention and he supplied the title, which led me swiftly to the introduction.

** Also, I love my job. I just need to unwind once in a while.

Chap Hop Bout

Well then. I shudder to think of how long it has been since I posted something here. :shudder:: Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I will share something that brought a bit of humor to my day...

First, if you have no idea what Chap Hop is, then I recommend you watch the next video to get the fast introduction:



If your musical tastes are anything like mine, you took a perverse pleasure in that! Now that you've had a brief encounter with Chap Hop, watch this:



Professor Elemental has thrown down the gauntlet and I sincerely hope Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer comes out of his corner with gloves on and in good form.

Gentlemen Rhymers, this bout is abiding by Queensberry Rules, and I expect a few rounds before the match is called. Fight!

Update Update

I don't know about you all, but some days it can really suck being busy. Too busy, that is, to really get out and participate in that thing called "life". I have been working some long-ish days lately and, by the time I get home, my brain is threatening to leak out of my ears as some over-used liquid (or a gel). By the time the weekend rolls around, I am more interested in spending time being with my family and friends or working on the backyard... more interested in that than updating the blog. Yes, it has suffered a bit. It seems that family and friends who are more distant have suffered a bit as well, so I felt it was due time to update the blog to include everyone in the happenings.

Work - Yes, my job has its rewards, but when too much work stacks up—for a myriad reasons—it can be a bit stressful, if not downright painful. I'm chugging through things, delegating tasks, outsourcing others, and have even identified a new position I need to fill. (The Muse says I must stop talking about work... so I will comply)

Family - My wife is done teaching for the year and is moving to a different (and I daresay more affluent) school. A good summer's rest has been well earned. Our son is transferring schools to now attend the same school my wife teaches at. This should save time for everyone! He is enjoying Taekwondo classes, now on his second colored belt.

Friends - Among the "guys" (which also happens to include the wives/fiancees/girlfriends) we have been drawn closer by the sudden death of Shawn. We don't yet know why, but hopefully that will come in due time. "Fenn", you're missed! Everyone else, please know you can share whatever is on your mind!

Projects - ACK!!! A list of what is perhaps the meat of this post—or merely an "index" of posts to come—here is what I'm doing as a bit of stress relief:

• Fountain - The fountain is nearly complete, requiring some adjustments to the "return" pump gallons per minute as well as the float switch that serves as a safety to prevent the pump from emptying the fountain into the alley behind our property.
• Backyard landscaping - Thanks to a lot of pent up stress in need of some form of release, as well as some much needed help from Sterling Landcare Co., the yard is getting closer to completion. The patio needs to be leveled with a final layer of decomposed granite before I can set the bluestone and bricks. Nearby, the vegetable and herb garden is several weeks old and starting to offer up its bounty (a bit), netting us strawberries, sweet basil, and French marjoram. Green bell peppers, eggplant, butternut squash, baking pumpkins (probably too many), leeks, zucchini, chamomile, spearmint, and pineapple mint are all still settling in. Other plants will be added as we complete the entire garden plot... it's probably about 20% built out. (I've even considered aquaponics to conjoin the fountain/fish pond and the garden... and then slapped myself for considering another complex backyard project)
• Coldbox - Okay, so there's not a lot of progress here, but I keep considering a few tweaks here and there... better hinges, a furred out frame on the latch side, finish work on the hinge-side frame, a better cooling system (or at least a way to fully chill the kegs separate from the bottle cellar), vintage temperature guages, and quick disconnects for all the keg lines.
• Bar - Now that the cabinetry is in, it's easier to see the shape. With a mini-refrigerator inside, plus a wine 'fridge and the cellar next to it, the beverage supply is handled. I need to complete what would normally be the drip tray system (but in my case is an assembly of copper piping and assorted fittings) to manage any stray drips and runoff. I also have to get a bunch of hardware from various sources... enough info on this to be it's own post... like several of these items
• Tools - My 1960-vintage Shopsmith Mark V, the most important tool in my shop, broke about three months ago. I've been so damn busy that it took me until this week to order and receive the pieces I need to get it back up and running. I'm looking forward to fixing it on Saturday... after I spend the day at work cutting over to a new SQL cluster.
• Beers - Sure, I've posted some tasting notes here and there, but I've been pretty lax about that. Sorry. Usually by the time I'm done drinking them, I don't feel like posting about them (or maybe just can't see myself focusing long enough on the weaving keyboard and shifting screen to actually complete it). I will do better on this. I've got more tools at my disposal now, so it should not be as difficult (or at least I'll have fewer excuses).
• Music - I have been neglecting this area worse than most others. Sure, I love music, but I have so much that getting new music hasn't been a priority. However, I did find time to see a Beats Antique and The Mutaytor show at the Belly Up Tavern. I bought a couple of CDs while there and will have to share some of that—as well as other great music—through blip.fm now that I have an account. I also got Abney Park's "Aether Shanties" for Christmas (thanks Hon) to go with my nearly complete "Vault" collection of Abney Park tunes. Other stuff has been catching my ear now wand then.
• House remodel planning(!) - yeah, me ("Iron Man") and my family are in the process of planning for a remodel. The house needs some repairs and there are certain things that we just simply don't like, so we're going to fix them. The "new" portion of the house will get a complete overhaul, becoming a two story structure that looks like it has always been part of the house... as opposed to the strange collision between an 1895 Victorian farmhouse that is being "violated" by a 1970's California ranch.

That should... wait... I forgot "Miscellaneous", normally the largest section! ::sheesh:: I could go on for a very long time, but I'll stick to the immediate future:

• building my first steampunk computer keyboard. It's been sitting dormant for about four or five months, but I started tinkering with it in the late nights lately. I like the progress.
• restoring my rolltop desk, while hiding a full computer in it, and modifying some monitors to look like they have been part of the workstation since the 1890s. I hope to add more surround speakers and enough gadgetry to make H. G. Wells' spirit grin.
• building some steampunk speaker stands for the Sapphire and Onkyo surround speakers on my Onkyo 7.1 system. The prototype looks good so far, but needs some additional wood, brass, gilding, and finishwork to be complete. I may have to add an amp to get the "B" 5.1 speakers online too.
• refinishing the old chess table that keeps getting thumped by my left elbow tonight
• getting the Liberty & Company Thebes Stool professionally repaired, restored, and refinished (and completing my amateur reproduction, now that I have my Shopsmith parts)
• determining if the inherited '60s/'70s era rocker is an early Maloof piece or not... either way, I like it.
• rigging up the temporary home theater in the studio (so we can have TV and movie entertainment up there while the house is being remodeled)
• building the faux beams and arches for the studio, incorporating the mid-twentieth century Marcus Designs statues I picked up at a local antique shop.
• converting another oak whiskey barrel into the studio bathroom's sink pedestal (complete with new glass "bowl-style" sink.
  
  ...and the most important step...
• converting the studio over to a temporary living space for the family while we remodel the house

::whew:: that should cover it. I'll post more info on each of these as another form of stress relief over the next several weeks/months.

Project: Cold Box, pt 2 & Bar, pt 1

It's been a while since I posted anything on the status of my projects. Since I have so many "irons in the fire" that one of my friends has started calling me "Iron Man", I'll share just one... well, maybe two... in a way: the "Cold Box" Project and the associated bar.

A lot has happened since I last posted anything about the cold box project. The exterior got some drywall, "mud", and preliminary decoration. I drilled a few holes in the insulated panels so I could route CO2 and beer lines through the wall and out of the barrel ends. Well, the gas is currently sitting behind the bar and will eventually end up inside the bar... or given a Victorian treatment and displayed proudly as part of the bar.

At present, those two faucets are pouring Arrogant Bastard Ale and Stone India Pale Ale. The parts list is currently:

• Oak barrel - since the barrel was no longer liquid-tight, I got it free. With the ends cut off and glued up, they make nice ornaments for a bar.
• Faucets - the brass finish faucets come from Micromatic, as do all the other pieces and parts behind the scenes.
• Tap handles - the handles are just that... antique door handles with a threaded hole that just so happened to be the same thread as the handle mount. They were found in a box in my garage when we bought our house.
• Kerosene lamps - they were a cheap $3.00 find at Goodwill.
• "Tool holder" - really, it's a matchstick holder for a fireplace. Again, a cheap find at $1.00. I repurposed it for the bar to hold a bottle opener, a corkscrew, and a "sporkener" I picked up at Magic Hat brewing Co. on my last vacation.
• Railroad lantern - This was a Christmas gift from my grandfather. It has been converted from kerosene to electricity, but it is still really cool. Thanks Grandpa!

The bar itself is currently made up of three unfinished oak base cabinets I picked up at Lowe's (reasonably priced). The bar top is currently two massive slabs of mahogany I salvaged from an old pallet. Yeah. An old pallet. From France. Circa 1945. The pieces that make up the bar surface are 65" x 15.5" x 3". The bar's "arm rest" is made of the other two sides of the ol' rectangular pallet. They're a bit smaller at 64" x 7" x 3". I've resawed them into the front and side cantilevered raised section of the bar. Interestingly enough, these smaller pieces have some significant wear and weathering that, when combined with small amounts of dryrot and insect damage, give the surface the appearance of many years of service in the bar. Perfect!

The front of the bar (the ugly back of the cabinets) is currently obscured by two cherry veneer covered desk ends. As things progress, they will be replaced by some salvaged oak 4" x 6" posts and 2" x 6" planks. The mahogany will be finished with oil and a light sealant. All the oak will probably get a stain to complement the mahogany... unless it looks better oiled and sealed too.

What you can't see in the photos above are the other details I have planned. As of this writing, I anticipate building a canopy over the bar to store glasses, show off some sort of stained glass, and provide the requisite moody task lighting (like the example at right). I haven't selected the posts quite yet, as they need to be stout.

Around the outer edge of the cantilevered section of the bar, a band of LED lighting will provide more accent lighting. I don't know if I will mount it inside of some polished brass or copper tubing, but I'm considering it.

Where the cantilevered area joins the rest of the bar top, I will install some brass strips I found on our property. I stumbled across two large pieces of brass; the biggest, at 44" x 1.75" x 3/16" (with a shorter brazed-on 'L' section) will allow me to put an edging to provide more visual interest. The second piece of brass is close to the first in dimensions, but was found buried in the backyard; a significant (though not impossible to remove) coating of corrosion leaves me wondering what I will end up doing with it.

More later as the work progresses. I'll share updates in "Project: Bar, pt 2".

Got Disk?

I'm gonna geek-out about some computers, so please bear with me.

Some servers were delivered to work the other day... two Dell PowerVault MD1000s "tethered" to two Dell PowerVault NF600s. We're using one of these as a disk target for our backup systems and the other as an offsite mirror.

What does this add up to? Well, take a look at the pictures and follow along with me:

• NF600 - fully populated with eight 1Tb
• MD1000 - fully populated with fifteen 1Tb drives
• That subtotals - 23Tb
• Multiply that times two, since we got a matched pair - that's a whopping 46Tb

Now I know some of you may have more disk space in your server room(s), but this is a step up for me and my crew.

Happy (Star Wars) Holidays

Wow... I thought my childhood memories of this were painful enough... then I had to go watch it as an adult!



Alright, I'll be honest. I didn't watch the whole thing. It just hurt too much. That and ::yikes:: Mark Hamill is a bit too scary in that much stage makeup. Besides, if I show my son, he'll want to watch the whole thing and I don't want to go through this more than necessary.

I still love Star Wars, but this... this... is something else.

NaNoWriMo, pt X

National Novel Writing Month. Yeah, that "thing" that happens every November.

For the past several years I have signed up and started writing. For the past several years the fates have conspired against me, plunking some huge project or life-changing event in my lap, effectively killing my novel writing efforts. This year was no different.

Next year, I won't participate. No offense or slight meant to those who participate, the event, or to the great organization behind it. I wish everyone the best of luck!

As for me, I think I can find the time to write what I want when I want to. NaNoWriMo was probably an excuse for me to spend more time sitting and writing. My life simply doesn't let me do that right now. I can find time for a creative outlet every now and then. When I do, it seems to quiet the nagging Muse within my head. Right now? Sure, she's screaming like a banshee, but I have found a way to filter out her wailing until we can spend some proper time together.

Does this mean I won't get back to the writings I have started for NaNoWriMo? Not at all. I will continue posting them here, albeit sporadically.

At least I will be writing.

NaNoWriMo, pt 1

My Fake Family History: Fictional People and Events that Shaped My Life

[Author's Note: this entry is first part of my National Novel Writing Month novel project in what I endeavor to be 50,000 words by month's end. The project, "My Fake Family History: Fictional People and Events that Shaped My Life", is truly a "Random Musing" where I am taking nuggets of factual events from my family's history and weaving them into fictional stories while exploring different writing styles. I may reveal to you, the reader, the truth now and then, but don't expect it all the time.]

~ 1 ~

A Steampunk's Time Machine

There I was, sitting in the studio over the garage the other evening, looking over the myriad of projects in their varying stages of completion, when my eyes lingered upon the roll-top desk that once sat in my grandfather's house. Why had my eyes picked that moment to stare at the desk? Why did they linger? Perhaps some deeper part of my consciousness desired to start yet another project? The rest of me shuddered at the thought; I'm busy enough at present for two or three people.

To slake the thirst of project beast within, I walked to the desk, seeking the thing that drew my attention and held it fast. The desk, its outer shell a once-varnished thing of oaken beauty, was now coated in what I remember—from a few different conversations about the desk—to be World War II surplus gray paint from the naval shipyards of 32nd Street.

My grandfather was the master recycler, “repurposer”, and “upcycler”, and this desk symbolizes those aspects of his manner and personality to me. Thinking back to conversations about the desk with my mother, she did not know from where it was purchased, nor did she quite remember when it entered her family. All she could recall was that the desk always seemed to sit in the garage-shop of her childhood house on Church Avenue, serving the role of cash register in her parents' businesses: first for her father's welding business and later her mother's toy shop. Sometime in its history, my grandfather repainted it with the gray paint he had obtained while welding ships' hulls in the shipyards, covering the oak surface in a dull coat.

No. The lure of another project wasn't what the inner me was reaching for. My eyes took a quick inventory of the many little things are scattered across its top: miniatures… Victorian corner-shelves I had yet to hang in the corner of some room in our house… (etc.) Not one of the nigh-countless curiosities in sight had held my interest like the room-breadth stare had. There was something else calling to me.

Taking a seat in the old wooden office chair, the contents of cubbies and slots passed under my visual scan without a second glance. I leaned back seeking a different perspective. Crossing my legs under the desk, to gain some comfort while maintaining the critical counterbalance to my deeply reclined posture, my foot bumped the center drawer.

“That’s it!” my awareness urged, “Open the drawer!”

I had nearly forgotten it was there. Reaching far back under the desktop, I found the bottom lip of the cash drawer with my fingertips, my knuckles brushing against the pulls of the alarm till’s finger lock mechanism. Oh yes, I had nearly forgotten about that mechanism too. Indeed. This is what was tugging at me.

The Kymera Magic Wand

A few weeks ago I found the need to seek out a universal remote. Looking for a good list of remotes with comparisons and ratings proved to be... boring... and tedious. Just as I was about to give up for the afternoon, I stumbled across just what I was looking for. The review had five or six remotes listed, with pros and cons to each device. Then, it listed a remote with no buttons in the form of a "magic wand". They didn't have too much to say about it, because it wasn't a traditional universal remote, but they did say it was fun. It sounded just like the kind of device I needed.

Curious, I visited the website to check this "wand" thing out. (The site is worth a peek... take a look... this page won't go anywhere while you're checking it out... back already? Let's press on.) I was definitely intrigued by the web site's presentation of the device. Overall, it called to the science fiction/fantasy geek that is a big part of me. Magic. Technology. Both of them in one cool package. How do I buy... bah! The wand was still being produced in the "Orient" and would arrive in the UK and US soon. I could reserve one and decide if I was still interested when they notified me of the impending availability.

Last week I got the email. The shipment had arrived! I took the rest of the week and weekend to think it over. Yes, it was cool. Yes, it was very, very geeky. But it was fun. My wife asked why I hadn't gotten it already. I guess that was answer enough. Tuesday at lunch, I ordered the Kymera (its proper name) and looked forward to its arrival. Today, when I got back from lunch, it was sitting on my office chair bundled in a FedEx package. I opened it, shared it with a few coworkers, and put it away, knowing I wouldn't be able to really mess with it for several more hours.

Several more hours have passed. I opened it up again and really took a good look at it. This thing is cool. Sure, the body is plastic, but it's not that bad. I was hoping for wood, but this'll do. I quickly read the instructions. Andie and Ethan got a look at it, Ethan grinning like a gnome (or, better yet, a kender) who'd found a Wand of Wizardry in his closet. He's off to bed. She's watching some vampire show. I'm in the studio waving a magic wand around. After a bit, I'm really ready to try this thing out.

With a "big swish", the electronic beast that is the Onkyo rack turns on. Industrial/electronica music thumps from the speakers. I grin and chuckle. Another "big swish" and it turns off. I check to see if the beer I've popped open was inadvertently consumed and I am merely experiencing some alcohol-induced delusion. Nope, I've only had a swallow or two. This wand is cool and fun. Yet another "big swish", the music continues, and I try some other gestures. A twist of my wrist "anticlockwise" and the volume drops. "Clockwise" and it goes up. I've got ten more gestures to associate to other functions and/or devices. Muwahahahaahaaaaaaa!!!

One word here... awe-sommme!!! This wand is a brilliant addition to my neo-Victorian, Steampunk-ish, Tolkien-esque, Medieval-influenced, 100% "geek cave".

I think I just had a nerdgasm.

Project: Fish Pond, pt 4

One of the things the pond needs is a respectable "spitter" to go over the PVC pipes sticking out of the back wall. I've seen countless Green Man sculptures over the years, many of which would be perfect for such a job. Of course, when I actually make the effort to find one out there on the web, I can't find many that look good, are worth the price, or are the right size for the job.

It took a while, but I found the web site of Walter S. Arnold (stonecarver.com) with a few Green Man faces and even gargoyles that could work. This guy is an amazing stone carver! Ultimately, Andie and I chose "Mirth", a Green Man, from his collection.

Of course, once we decided on "Mirth", we realized we probably couldn't get it shipped in time for it to arrive before the vacation we had planned. Then, as things play out, I got a bit busy and didn't order them for another week or so. I did finally place the order. There's a saying that is something like "you can't rush art", so I waited. Not long, but I was anxious to keep the project rolling along. The confirmation email came from Walter, where he answered my questions. A few days later, he sent another email letting me know that he had shipped our "Mirth" castings, thus starting the "where is the package" game with the freight carrier.

It took about a week, but "Mirth" arrived two nights ago, complete with signatures, certificates of authenticity, mounting holes, and drilled out mouths. The "antique white" color as a hopeful match to the light cement walls was a guess, but Walter said they should look fine. He was right. The size of the Green Man faces is slightly smaller than ideal, but all the other attributes more than make up for it. Wonderful. Now all I have to do is mount them on the wall and hook up the water lines to their mouths... but that's another post.